i need more days like this

i'm always lying in my bed at night listening to my tunes.
i'm more relaxed that way.
i've been doing a lot of thinking, wondering, crying. it might sound silly to admit this but it's how i feel and i can't change that.
i sometimes sit in my bedroom in the dark on the floor.

all you need is something new but you're too blind to follow through.
everything's stressing me out and now i'm crying.
is there anything anyone can do to help me?
i want this year to be good.
i hope so.
listening to frou frou. love imogen heap.
if i wasn't who i was a few years ago i wouldn't like half the things i like right now.
someone told me that.
ha! that is utter crap.
i am who i am and i'm keeping it that way.

i admire individuality.
i love the whole thing. i am aware that i'm going to be 28 in a few weeks. now that's a scary thing to happen to someone like me. oh gosh.
only time will tell.
my heart's in a headlock right now.
i really fancy going to starbucks on saturday.
i'm in a mood for that.

i guess my blog has been very boring.
the trigger disguised as a doll. a chaotic numbing mind of which vanity and perplexing, incoherent intellegence combine and assassinate.
i'm going to blog about my mind and how i really feel about everything.
i'm not dark and i'm not morbid.
i am me, myself and i.
my life is like an open book.
i stand up for everything that i believe in, i stand up for other people.
including myself.
i listen to enya.
i listen to enigma.
i dress like dollychrist. i love you nessa!
i hate today's music.
i used to not give a shit about anything and i still don't.

no one can stop me from being who i am.
i like myself and i'm not going to change for anyone.
all i can do is be me.
whatever that is.
i'm a girl disguised as a doll.

i don't know why, i suffer too much pain. i don't know what i feel anymore.
i sometimes wish i could leave my life behind. escape from all reality. nothing left for me.

i am me in every way. i will not start following other tastes and modern society.
i love what i love and my passions mean everything to me.
i am happy with what i am.
 

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